How Do I Walk Through Pain With Someone?

Have you been through life see a friend feeling pain for a considerable amount of time?

Pain causes a person to see things in a whole new way. It can remove pride, gives you strength and helps you move closer to God. Growing in wisdom and inner strength through its experience.

Pain may also have negative effects.... It may create more negative thoughts, develop a low level of self-esteem, develop a sense of isolation, makes a person more moody and easily irritated.

And the positive and negative effects of pain can both take place at the same time in a person's life.

"Nobody understands!" Thats what he/she will say... True isnt it? Nobody really understands unless they go through it before or if they choose to walk alongside with you to listen and to contemplate, putting themselves in your shoes rather than from their own perspective.

It involves time and also trust both in the person who is going through it and also for the person who is walking alongside you. It involves looking beyond the person with the pain, and see the transformed life that this pain, if properly dealt with , can do in his/her life.

Words of correction should be given in a creative way. More than 70 percent of people I know are not receptive to such direct and harsh words when they are in the center of such a struggle because the opposite side does not fully consider and understand things surrounding such a behaviour or situation. Things like family culture, their background, work pressures , the pain that coexists with these.

I have learnt recently that before i give advise to anyone, I need to consider the things that are happening to him/her. Her family situation, her background, her level of understanding, the pressures he/she faces and the best approach to communicate.

It is always easier to put your experience and knowledge and apply it to a given scenario, but it takes prayer and contemplation to know what to say and how to say it. Thats why King Soloman asked the Lord for an understanding heart, that He can rule his Kingdom with justice and stability.

An understanding heart puts one into the persons shoes, as if living his/her life... and then see through thoese eyes into the world and situation he/she is describing.

Then advice and instructions with love can come through better and more effective. Winning the person over rather than challenge I believe should be the approach in this season of pain.

Comfort and advice in the same way the Lord offer that to you.

I also believe that pain is good but dont expect a person to always take it well when he/she is going through it. King David said in the psalms that he wrote, that even though he was a Brute Beast, the Lord holds his hand.

The Lord loves us even when we go through pain. He doesnt rejects us or blames us when we struggle and become rebellious. To Him, it is better to have you by His side with your struggles then to not have you at all.

He offers strength and comfort in hope that one day You and I will rise up and be strong!! You will see the light in the midst of your pain one day... our tears will be turned into Joy!